Marital Customs
Like most other things in Haina life, weddings and marriages are viewed as very serious undertakings and are completed with very delicate, exacting rituals.
First, the bridegroom's father will meet with the father of the bride. They will agree upon the betrothal gifts. The bridegroom’s family will send the betrothal gifts, enclosing a betrothal letter, to the bride's family. The betrothal letter is the formal document of the engagement, which must be included for a marriage. Betrothal gifts are relatively small and inexpensive compared to the uPComing wedding gifts. The betrothal gifts usually consist of nothing more than a small amount of cash, jewelry, or minor weapon, such as a dagger.
After the betrothal gifts are accepted, the bridegroom must formally challenge the bride’s father to ritual combat within seven days. The duel is attended by each family, as well as any superior officers and a priest. The potential groom is not expected to win the combat or he brings dishonor to his future bride’s family (often ending the possible nuptials). Instead, it is expected for him to fight the bride’s father (or highest ranking male relative if the father is deceased) and deliver a single cut or wound to him. After that, the combat continues until either the groom yields or is killed. Should the groom be unable to wound the father, the wedding is cancelled due to his lack of ability to show that he can defend his wife.
After the betrothal letter and betrothal gifts are accepted and the ritual combat is completed, the bridegroom's family will formally send wedding gifts to the bride's family. A gift letter is necessary, which will be sent to the brides family that lists the quantity and types of various gifts for the wedding once both parties have accepted marriage. Usually, gifts include tea, bridal cakes, wine, a money box, horses and other livestock, or weapons and armor. The exact amount and nature of the gifts varies depending on local customs and family wealth. A typical Haina farmer living in a rural area would expect livestock; where as a soldier or officer in Zhuan or Kautang might require money or arms.
If the wedding gifts are accepted, the wedding date is set. On the selected day, the bridegroom departs his home with a troop of escorts (usually consisting of either friends or men under his command) and musicians, playing happy music all the way to the bride's home. Once the groom reaches the brides home he and his escorts take the bride and her family back to his home, where the wedding ceremony begins.
The dominant color at traditional Haina weddings is red. The people of the Haina Empire tend to apply red to add happiness into the atmosphere. At dawn on the wedding day, after a bath in water infused with various grapefruits, the bride puts on new clothes and wares a pair of red shoes. At this time she awaits the “good luck woman” to dress her hair in the style of a married woman. Her head will be covered with a red silk veil with tassels or bead strings that hang from the phoenix crown. With married women teaching her how to be a good wife, she waits for her future husband to escort her home.
The bridegroom simultaneously prepares to receive his new wife. He gets dressed in a long gown, red shoes and a red silk sash with a silk ball on his chest. The groom kneels at the ancestral altar as his father (if his father is deceased, then his commander will perform this duty) puts a newly forged sword with a red scabbard into his belt to declare his adulthood and his family responsibility.
After arriving at the bride’s house, the groom addresses the crowd with his newly forged sword in his hand and challenges all men present for the hand of the bride. It is customary for one or two friends of the groom to challenge him to a ritual combat. It is expected that these challengers deliberately yield to the groom, in a similar fashion that the groom needed to yield to the bride’s father. However, any challenge can be made and must be accepted to continue with the ceremony. As such, it is not uncommon for jealous suitors to disrupt the wedding by defeating the groom in this combat. They do so, however, with great personal cost as it is considered very rude and dishonorable to stop a marriage in this fashion.
After all challenges have been met, the bride gets into a sedan chair that has been heavily curtained, so as to prevent the bride from seeing an unlucky sight, such as a widow or old, childless woman. At the back of the chair are hung a sieve and a metallic mirror that is believed to protect the bride from evil. When the parading troop arrives at the bridegroom's, ceremonial gongs will be struck to hail the bride's arrival. A red mat is placed before the sedan chair so that the bride will not touch the bare earth. The bride and bridegroom are led to the family altar, where the couple pays respect to the gods, the family ancestors and parents successively. A priest ritually cleanses the couple and insures that neither bride nor groom suffer from any infernal taint. Lastly, a wedding letter is prepared and presented to the bride's family to confirm and commemorate the formal acceptance of the bride into the bridegroom's family. Then there will be a grand feast for relatives and those who took part in the wedding. The newlywed couple will drink wedlock wine (this is specially distilled from herbs that promote fertility). Usually, they cross their arms to sip the wine, and exchange their cups, drinking until the cups are empty. They will toast their guests in order to honor them for coming.